The Bar and Cafe Owner of Hanabatake Chaika is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, ubiquitous missile silos, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, democratic, devout population of 3.677 billion Hanabatake Chaikans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. The average income tax rate is 45.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Hanabatake Chaikan economy, worth 202 trillion baht a year, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Furniture Restoration, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 55,129 baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Psychological disorders are a taboo subject, safe drinking water is considered a luxury, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak, and citizens who leave the country are officially classed as traitors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hanabatake Chaika's national animal is the porpoise, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Hanabatake Chaika is ranked 244,630^th in the world and 1,758^th in Remembrance for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -5.6 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.